I first wrote the story about tips to negotiating when I was traveling in Asia. I still believe in that article but since visiting Haiti my view has evolved. Yes, it’s important to bargain and no matter how hard you bargain, you will always pay more than the locals. I understand all that. There’s an art form and a skill that is necessary to effectively negotiate. Its how life operates and how businesses become successful. I get all of that. For some people it’s a rush, a feeling of success; it's gratifying, and it’s __________. YOU CAN put any word in their to fill in the gap. I never stopped to think about the other side of the story, until I met this wonderful person by the name of Maria. For over a month I was working at Hotel Florita in Jacmel, Haiti when Maria came in with an organization called New Waves -AYITI.  Somehow we got into the conversation about the art in Jacmel, the galleries, and the local vendors. She told me about a particular piece of art that she bought at FOSAJ (located behind the hotel). She explained to me how beautiful this piece of art was and how it really connected with her. "I asked what the price of this particular piece of art and she replied, "$100 usd." She bought it without bargaining.  It wasn’t because she had the money to spend or anything like that. She states, "It's because in Trinidad, Haitian art is highly respected." Maria understood the value of the work. It wasn’t a duplicate; it was an original piece of artwork. Questions to ask yourself next time you decide to use your TOP Negotiating Skills? What does it mean to you when you negotiate? Are you physically and financially beating down someone to get a lower price? Are you discouraging/ devaluing their work, with your prices? Are you uplifting or discouraging their spirit, hard work, and craft? Could you pay an artist to paint you original artwork at that price where you are from? Have you really accomplished something? Can you go home and brag about how you got the price down? Have you considered the other person, the artists, the vendor, the store owner who has to pay for their materials for your “souvenir” you bought? What about their livelihood, their family, and the work that they put in? Earlier that week, I helped two members of her team negotiate four pieces of art, which led me to think about Maria's logic on negotiating prices for art, and the value of respecting artist work, and pricing.  It made me think twice negotiating. The conversation plays over and over in my head.  “What does it mean to you to negotiate someone down from the price, to beat them down, just to say you saved $15-$20? Could you have bought that back at home for that price? The price of the paint and other materials alone cost a lot of money. What do you get from discouraging someone and taking the meaning from something that they’ve worked so hard to put together? Could you ask artists back at your home to paint you an original piece? How much would you get charged back home? I am not saying this to discourage people from negotiating, but for people to have that conversation with themselves and with friends and family and to realize how their actions affect the locals, local economy and the way that the locals view tourists. I know it has made me reflect on all my negations.

I’ve traveled to few countries. Some of which are first world and third world. Living in the United States you have access to 24hrs of internet, television, media, electricity, customer service, and social media to complain or express yourself, hot showers, doctors, clean streets, and great schooling. You might not realize how spoiled and privileged you are until you visit a third world country that doesn’t have all these things. Luxury living is not should not be determined by the access you have to 24hrs to exterior gadgets, the items you can afford, or by your education, or clothing that you wear. This brings me to where I am now. I have become accustomed to the United States lifestyle where I get everything I want instantly for the most part. I was always online, trying to catch up on the latest shows, flipping through social media pages, watching the latest YouTube videos, or watching the news or lack of it. I started to realize that I was changing and so were the people around me. I didn’t like it. I slowly started cutting back on the amount of television I was watching and checking sports channels less frequently. U.S. is a consumer driven society and I was headfirst into it. Even when you try calling your friends, family, etc. they look at you like you’re from another planet because you didn’t send them a text message. Who wants to take the time to talk on the phone anymore right? Well I do. This summer (2014), I had the opportunity to live in Jacmel, Haiti. What an experience! I stayed in the heart of the cultural side of Jacmel. I had access to art galleries, street vendors, motor bikes, the beach, fresh air. I didn’t have all the luxuries that I was accustomed to in the United States like 24 hours of electricity and other items I listed above. It took a week or so to get adjusted to my new environment. But once I did, it felt great. It made me question my ideas of what it meant to live in luxury and what luxury really meant. The hotel didn’t have televisions in the rooms. Most of it was old school living by U.S. standards. I felt alive. I was connecting to people differently. I had to engage with the locals, had to communicate with girls that I found attractive face to face. It was a different world. Of course a lot of people had the basic cell phones and listened to music and everything like that but the conversations were different. I didn’t have to hear about Justin Bieber or the Kardashians or what happened next on Love and Hip Hop. Those meaningless conversations didn’t exist. Even when I did go on the Internet, I didn’t stay on long. I was to busy learning about my new environment and trying to make friends. I found it easier to connect with people because they weren’t walking around with smart phones in their hands. You had to use your five senses to listen and focus your energy on the person you are talking to. My lifestyle was different, when guests came into the hotel; the first thing they wanted to know was “what is the Wi-Fi password?” In those moments I kept thinking “why you don’t check into the hotel first?” But that’s how important the internet has become; enjoying your external environment has become secondary to the virtual environment. The internet can be seen as a connecting agent that brings the world closer together by allowing people to contact others from different parts of the world at any given time. It can also be viewed as a separator, since it brings us further apart from verbal to verbal communication, reading body language, writing skills, and out of touch with nature. I am not blaming or looking down on any of the guests for their behavior, few people stop and think about how disconnected they are to their external environment or even care. I got to the point where I didn’t care if I didn’t have power, internet, hot water, social media, and mindless conversations about reality TV. I became aware of my growth and how I became closer to my environment. I loved being disconnected or connected depending how you looked at it. The western world luxuries that I thought were important became less important and it felt great. As my summer was coming to an end, I started thinking how do I continue this disconnect/connection when I get back to New York? Is it even possible? I will be the outsider in that environment. Of course some things like clean water, clean streets, and healthcare I will welcome back with open arms, but how do I get my friends to disconnect from social media and connect with me on a personal face to face connection? These are the things I struggle with. I will continue to decrease the amount of time I spend on the net and watching TV. Not having electricity in Haiti is not as a big deal to the locals because they are accustomed to it, but in the states, it’s a big problem if the power goes out for a few hours, days, the end result, people get fired. After this experience, I won’t be bothered as much. I have been reminded and temporarily life in the Haitian culture where electricity is not always working, and the internet is always goes in and out. The beauty of my experience resided within the human to human connection, and the luxury was embedded in the person to person conversations, and external environment.      

Every year, you make plans to travel, and some how at the last-minute you have a deadline that you must meet or one parent has to work on that particular weekend. What good is it killing yourself for a job that can’t give you week of vacation to relax? Sounds like you need better work life balance. Well lets take a look at three ages of travel. The first being traveling while you are young, wild, and free. Ladies and gentlemen, these are the days of your youth (14yrs -29yrs old) or whenever you decide to get married. This is assuming that you don’t have any kids and you are not married. You get to wake up late, party, and get a sense of who you are. This is the time you backpack around the world, go on crazy road trips with your friends, and study abroad. Just be young! You have the next 40-60yrs to work assuming your time is not cut short on this beautiful planet. If you are not enjoying your youth it’s about time you start! The second part of traveling is family related. Some of you are fortunate enough to have family vacations. Maybe it’s just you and your dad camping somewhere or going on a road trip to see some historical sites. Family vacations are great aren’t they? At this point, you are married with kids, maybe both parents are working, and you just don’t have time to travel.  Depending on where you are career wise, family related vacations could be expensive? I’m guessing that’s what’s going on in your head. Well spend a little, there’s nothing wrong with taking the time to experience the world. If you budget correctly, you can manage one big vacation a year. Open a separate account and take some money out of your paycheck and put it towards an account for vacation purposes. If you are the type of person that keeps waiting for your kids to get older to go on that special vacation, your kids could grow up not wanting to hang out with you because they have their own friends and plans. You know how teenagers are! Even worse, they might get into the cycle of all work and no play! Remember, these are the years, that you can have an impact on the way your child see’s the world. Instead of reading stories or watching reality TV of other families and their adventures, start your own. Experience another culture and see how other people live. It’s an experience that pays itself. The third type of traveling is during that retirement age. For the last 40 to 60yrs, you’ve been working hard and putting money in your 401K. At this point you’ve done the young wild and free travel, the family trips, and now its just you and the spouse.  You spend this time exploring the Sistine Chapel, looking at fine art, playing golf in Indonesia. You are older and have a better appreciation of such things. You’ve worked hard your whole life, and now you want to slow down and watch the birds and the bees.

10 common mistakes people make while on vacation

Next time you plan on traveling, I hope you can avoid these 10 common mistakes people make while on vacation.

Only staying at the resort

Part of the fun of vacationing is of course relaxing and to some people that means sleeping. But remember that you are on vacation. You're not in your home town or city. Take the time to explore the area. Go on trips that are not part of the resort package. A vacation should be an adventure.

Not having a local number

Having a local number gives you the opportunity to contact people who you meet during your vacation. It reduces  paying international rates for using your phone. Phones that are GSM can be jail broken and used in any country. All you have to do is purchase a sim card and you're in business.

Not budgeting correctly

The fun part of being on vacation is being able to shop, do excursions, hop from hostel to hostel, or road trips to different parts of the country. Many people make the mistake of spending all their money in the first few days of their trip. The excitement of being somewhere new gets to them and they just purchase everything in sight. Resist the urge to do so. Set a daily spending budget and don't over spend.

Not trying new stuff

Don't go on vacation to do the same boring stuff that you would normally do at home. Try eating at local restaurants. Get a feel for the lifestyle at your vacation destination. Leave the fast food back at home and dine out or take cooking lessons. Go hiking, long bike rides, an excursion, deep sea diving, a local club. Don't be that person that travels somewhere new just to do the same old stuff. Dare to have fun.

Not having copies of your passport

If you are visiting a foreign country it's very important that you carry around photo identification. A great idea is to make multiple laminated copies of your passport to carry around. Leave a copy of your travel plan's with someone back home and inform the U.S Embassy of your travels. Passports are very important so it's unwise to walk around with the original copy in-case of theft or loss.

Not informing the bank that you will be on vacation

A few days before you actually go on your trip, make sure you contact your bank and let them know exactly the length of your trip and countries you will visit. This allows them the opportunity to monitor your activities for fraud.

Not printing directions to the hotel/hostel/resort

If you are going to a country where the main language is not your own and you are not familiar with the destination, print out directions in that foreign language. This way you won't spend your time trying to figure out directions or trying to translate.

Failing to appreciate the hard work of the staff at the hotels/hostels/resorts

Remember that while you are on vacation or holiday, there are people working hard to keep you happy. Make sure you appreciate what they do for you. If you are staying at an all-inclusive resort or cruise you can order more food if the meal doesn't taste right. Relax and have a good time.

Visiting the same place repeatedly

The world is too big to be visiting the same place over and over again. Try someplace new. Life is an adventure. Dare to explore. Instead of taking the same trips to the same resort, go on a safari adventure in a new country. Try not to repeat traveling to the same place, after a while, it becomes boring because you've discovered everything.

Failing to bargain

Whether it's with a food vendor or souvenir shops, don't be afraid to bargain for the best deals. If it's the off-season, the vendors are usually trying to make money. It will be to your advantage to get the lowest price possible. Most things are negotiable, don't be afraid and most of all don't be afraid to walk away if the deal is not what you expected.

A lot of my traveling is done on my own whether it be international or domestic. People always ask me how do I it and I tell them it's easy. Here are a few steps that you can take to be comfortable with traveling by yourself. If you are traveling in a country where the primary language is not fluent to you, take a few weeks or a month to familiarize yourself with the basics, like hello, direction, ordering food or room accommodation. Think about the conversations you have everyday. If you are using a program or dictionary to learn a foreign language and you can't find someone to practice with, practice with yourself. Talk to yourself, everyone does it anyway. Whether it's mentally thinking the words or verbally saying them. To get comfortable with the idea of traveling alone, start out by going to see a movie by yourself. This will help you start to lose the feeling of insecurity. Don't worry about what people are saying about you. Once you've seen a few movies, the next step is going to dinner by yourself a few times and enjoying your own company. This will add a whole new level of self-identity and self-worth to your life. If you can handle that, go to a bar, club, or lounge. Ask people to dance, talk to strangers, see how that makes you feel. At this point you should be very secure with yourself. The first two or three nights of my trips I always stay in hostels. They are cheap and usually as good as some hotels. If it's your first time using a hostel, make sure you book one that's highly rated. The benefit of staying at a hostel is you will meet lots of people traveling alone or with a group. If you notice them speaking the same language as you, just chat with them. The fact that you both are travelers gives you something in common. Hostels are a great way to make friends. I've had some of my greatest travel experiences with people who I've met staying at hostels. Get a GSM phone that's unlocked and buy a sim-card  so you can have a local number. This is great because it makes you more accessible and you can contact people who you meet without worrying about overseas charges. Don't walk around with large sums of money. It's always good to carry just enough money to do what it is you came to do. Have an international debit or credit card that doesn't have foreign exchange fee's. There are plenty of them. Always keep a separate bank account with small dollar amounts just in case. Go to tourist markets and observe what's going on. Look at the interactions between the foreigners and locals. Don't buy anything. Get an idea of the environment. Let your senses take over and enjoy where you are. Take mental notes of the prices. Learn to bargain and learn to walk away from a deal. Talk to strangers but use common sense. Talk to people who you notice speaks the same language as you. Bring a camera, notepad, computer, extra batteries, and external hard drive to save all your pictures. A great app and software to download is Dropbox because you can save your files and share them with anyone who uses it anywhere in the world. If your computer crashes and you've already saved your files on Dropbox, you will be able to reach them. Once you are done with the tourists locations, visit non tourist places to get a feel for the real culture. Get a feel for the people who live there and who are not in the resort areas. See what day-to-day life is. This is all part of investing yourself in the culture. You will see that it makes you a better traveler because you are strengthening skills you already have. Invest yourself in the culture. Don't eat or go to places that you would normally go to at home. Locals love it when you make an effort to try their food and speak the language. Remember you are on vacation but more importantly a cultural experience to find out more about yourself. So eat what the locals eat. A fellow traveler by name of Shaahidah also said that traveling alone also gives you a sense of inner peace and good time to meditate. Be grateful that you have the opportunity to travel. Some people never get that chance. Your experiences are your own, no one will ever appreciate them as much as you. Once you've down enough traveling and investing yourself in the culture, traveling will become addicting and you won't even care that you are traveling alone. At this point, you will have met some incredible people who made your experience worthwhile.